If Batman Were Black…

One of my favorite superheroes of all time is D.C.’s Batman. But when I was younger, it was often hard for me to relate to the dark knight because, well, he was a rich white guy. And in case you didn’t already know, I’m not rich…or white. But instead of griping about it, I created a black Batman in my mind, and with this version of the hero there are some notable differences (and not just about him).

So without further ado, here’s how a black Batman would be different (but if you can’t handle slightly racist jokes, you might not like this…you’ve been warned).

If Batman were black:

  • He’d be even harder to find in the dark.
  • He’d truly be, the dark knight.
  • He’d never fight people in the water.
  • He’d call Alfred “OG.”
  • His parents would’ve been killed (if at all) after a sporting event or a rap concert, not outside an opera.
  • He would’ve come up with a better name and costume for Robin.
  • He’d build a basketball court in his mansion.
  • At night, with his cape wrapped around him, he could close his eyes and be invisible.
  • Gotham never would’ve been created. They would’ve just used Harlem.
  • He would have toyed with, but thought better of, the name ‘Blackman.’
  • He’d get his intel from the barbershop instead of Commissioner Gordon.
  • 20th century America wouldn’t have loved him as much (sad but true).
  • 21st century America would love him even more (c’mon, think about it…you know it’s true).

How accurate do you think this list is? Is there anything I left off? Let me know on Twitter (using #IfBatmanWereBlack) and in the comment section below!

Until next time.

– JP

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