Shades Are Deceptive

Shades are deceptive. I know this is a The Random post, but I’m dead serious. The sunglasses are misleading, making their wearer’s facial activity most ambiguous. Don’t understand what I’m saying? Allow me to tell you what happened on the subway last week.

I got on the four train to head back home from Trader Joe’s. As the doors closed behind me, I looked ahead and saw a brother…in shades. The man sat upright, but his arms were limp on his lap. He seemed to be looking at me, but I couldn’t tell if he really was. After all, the brother was in shades. Just then the train began to move.

About every thirty seconds on the way to the next stop, I’d glance over at the guy, and he seemed to be looking at me each time. Is this guy just staring at me, or is he asleep? I looked at the guy for a couple seconds, but was unable to tell if his eyes were open or not.  After all, the brother was in shades. About a minute later, we pulled up to the next stop.

As a couple people got on and off, I went to my right and took a seat further up the car on the opposite bench. From my newfound position about fifteen feet away, I was almost out of the man’s sight and would thus get distracted with something else…or so I thought. But as soon as the train began to move again, I heard a deep exhale that almost sounded like a moan. I looked towards the sound and saw that the man was now slumped over in his seat, his shades directed towards me.

Man, what’s up with this dude?! Is he asleep or not? I looked, but it was impossible for me to tell. After all, the brother was in shades.

The next stop was my stop. But as I walked to the doors I heard another sigh. I looked back and, still slumped over, the man’s shades were pointed at me. I doubted he was asleep at this point, but as I walked off the train I knew that I would never know for sure. After all, the brother was in shades.

You see what I’m saying now? Shades can be downright deceptive. You may think that whoever’s wearing them is doing one thing, but they may be doing a completely different thing, and there’s no way to tell for sure. Is that guy asleep or awake? Who knows. Oh man, did he just see that crazy lady with the bat?! Maybe, maybe not. Is she steaming mad, or just upset? Without seeing her eyes, it’s a coin flip.

The deception, the ambiguity…maybe that’s why the secret service, rappers, and Will Smith and the Men In Black wear them. Maybe it’s not. All I know is this: I need to buy myself some shades.

Until next time.

– JP

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